Rite of Spring
Seldom did I come up with a more
appropriate headline than the above standing. Here in Sweden it
certainly is spring right now. In fact the weather is almost tropical and
has been so for the last week. From early spring, almost winter till a
high summer's day in just a few days. Up till now I had completely
stopped all fishing. The fishing vacation I mentioned earlier because of
the fisherman's curse, that horrible garfish.
Now back to that old tradition of making a little Rite of Spring in the
back of one's garden. A little burnt offering to please the gods. Or
the God. Or even shorter; God. Who is He? And how can you be sure
that He is a he and not a she? I know this is burning and really hot stuff
nowadays and how very easy it is to trod on someone's tender religious toe in these
holy matters. But, what amazes me is why all these new gods? What's wrong
with the originally ones? Where did they go wrong?
So beware you fish killers of all nations! Very stern and condemning he appeared to be, starting almost every sentence with the traditional Godlike "I say unto thee!"
But me he likes.
Catch and release and a respectful approach to fishing; yes he can buy that. Then He's brow darkened and He shook His mighty Trident so the whole of Gagnekulla trembled and he exclaimed:
-Damn that awful and disgusting thing that is called Trolling! I set a curse on you! Beware next time you dare out on the ocean! That is against all nature and should be prohibited! Haven't I told you; one rod a person at a time! Driving around wasting fuel hour after hour and using mechanical Fishfinders! It's cheating to say the least! And in many cases selling their catch! But I will set a stop for you! Beware next time, I say unto thee!
Then he grumbled and muttered for a while and I had to put the last jerkbait on the fire in a hurry to make him calm down.
Then he turned his fisheye on me and asked to see one of my flies and I had to get in the house to fetch a couple. He looked at them for a while and then he shook his head and mumbled for himself. Then he said:
"Aha... Now I see... No wonder I got so much complaint of this thing from my fish friends. They say that they can't resist it and are very frustrated about it. Now, I can understand why... Yes, a pretty good piece of work you done there, son. Of course I should destroy both you and your fly with a mighty flash of lightning. And I can do it, have no doubt of that! But then again; I really love the idea of catch and release... But those things you put on top of the fire sure smelled good! So why don't you just run along and continue with what you're doing? I might even grant you good fishing next season if that's what you want? I say unto thee, I mean.
-Why, thank you, Great Poseidon, King of the Sea! I said and bowed. May I just ask for another favor?
-It is "May I just ask for another favor, o Great Poseidon!"
-All right! All right! O Great Poseidon, will you do that?
-Well, I have these problems with bulls... On some islands here about, they're a real pest and a threat and I think you know how to solve that, o Great Poseidon.
-Why's that? Horses, not bulls are my favorite animals. On the contrary I only had bad memories of bulls.
-How about the Minotaur? Wasn't he Your son, or something? O Great Poseidon?
-What's with the world today? ! No, wrong! Don't you read your Greek Mythology, any more? Here's what really happened:
OK, the Minotaur was a fabulous monster of Crete that had the body of a man and the head of a bull. It was the offspring of Pasiphae, the wife of Minos , and a snow-white bull sent to Minos by me for sacrifice. Minos the dirty son of a bitch, instead of sacrificing it, kept it alive! How do you like that! It's a scandal, to say the least! Course I got mad and as a punishment I made Pasiphae fall in love with it. Her child by the bull was shut up in the Labyrinth created for Minos by Daedalus. And...
-OK, that's enough! But can you do it? O Great Poseidon, I mean.
-Course I can. I'm a God, right? So from now on, the bulls won't attack you! Go in peace on the island of Hasslö and the bulls will shy away from you! Now be off for I have some godly things to attend to.
-Can I get my flies back, please, o Great Poseidon?
And that was that. To be honest the smoke made me dizzy and gave me a headache but that it all was a dream I certainly deny!
No to the latest fishing.
So maybe next year He will help me to catch a few more sea trout or rainbow trout. But Poseidon, if you read this, you still have the rest of the year to prove you are worthy me worshipping you... So be a good God and we'll see... And I don't want to hear a word that this is a kind of cheating, taking help from high places! At least it won't pollute the water.